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You are not your house or your possessions. YOU are LOVE (Part 1)

Posted on Oct 06 2016
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We have all heard the expression 'sometimes your (perceived) worst nightmare can turn out to become your greatest gift' However what I can say with great fortitude is that there is no situation in your life that cannot be transformed through the power of love and forgiveness. 

Three weeks ago I let go of my rented property in the scottish angus countryside. My savings had dwindled and I was finding the pressure of having to stump up a large amount of cash to cover rent and bills in a three bed roomed house tough going. I was going through a challenging time re evaluating my life and had lost my motivation for serving others in the way I once did. I had done work on raising my vibration, clearing out past toxic patterns whilst being in the house and the voice of my soul had been telling me to 'let it go' for several months beforehand. The next part of my journey of self discovery would involve a more transient lifestyle, travelling and teaching..... However being a person who is often slow to make changes, although it has to be said I have made some massive ones to date. I carried on going until I had no choice but to let it go...The soul knows what it's doing even though the ego doth protest!!  

That's when my whole concept of what it is to give and receive love was turned on its head yet again. Those of you reading this will understand that very often we recreate a difficult situation in our lives just to see how far we have come in terms of our spiritual growth. As teachers we are often presented with growing opportunities that test our faith and open us up further to the highest expression of who we truly are. 

So here's the thing, I find myself back in a situation of living in no fixed abode of my own, spending most of the time at my mothers and transporting my goods and shackles that I hadn't sold or put in storage in the boot of my car. This is the second time I have found myself in this situation of re-building my life.... Facing and feeling more of the deeper, denser aspects of myself head on....Liberating to be free of ties for a while but oooh the shame of going back to your parents cap in hand particularly after they had been very generous to me financially in the past wanting to see me set up in a home and business. They had never agreed with or understood some of the choices I had made in following my souls calling. It was one tough call I can tell you...

Our minds/ego will often want to attach a meaning to what's going on in our lives with statements such as 'I am a failure' taking us down the spiral of negative emotions to anger and depression. If we can learn to just BE in the moment and be OK with all that is, treating ourselves and others with love and compassion, regardless of the circumstances we will find that our mood will lift and it will become easier to pave a way forward.

'Apparent failure is only part of the process serving only your holy victory' 

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There is a continuous theme in my life and no doubt in yours that when we walk the path of becoming our authentic self we are letting go of the things that gave us a false sense of security on the outside..It doesn't mean that we can't have all the trappings of a good lifestyle....However peeling away more layers of the onion usually involves learning to be OK regardless of our outer circumstances....When I look back to when I first began the process of peeling back the layers, many moons ago, I let go of a my beauty business and the successful image I projected on the outside. On the inside I was feeling lost, lonely and unlovable. Now as I reflect on how far I've come (on going work in progress) I know the opposite to be my truth. As the years roll on I continue to experience a well of love, security and contentment on the inside (not that I don't have my off days, because I frequently do) But life does what it's meant to do, calling us out to evolve, change and grow. Pulling out the rug from underneath our feet, and through our pain, grief and challenges calling us out to become more RAW, REAL, OPEN and COMPASSIONITE. For me letting go of my home is part of that process. It provided me/my clients with a safe, womb like space to do some deep healing work. Now that it's gone I realize that I can't hide away anymore behind its cozy walls. Its time to REALLY show up, stand up and be seen for who I truly am....

In these challenging times for many it's important to count your blessings. No matter the cards you have been dealt. Where you were yesterday will be different tomorow...I am at present back to living a more simple life, less distracted by what's around me....I am enjoying the change of routine...I am being encouraged to step out of my comfort zone with regard to asking for, opening too and receiving support... This time I am spending with my mother (there had been past friction between us and a wall of protection placed around my heart) I am learning to listen more, judge less, respect her for the difficult journey she has been on and accept her as she is.... Learning to love myself as I am...Learning to give to her...Being more soft and vulnerable, fluid and flexible...I am appreciating this time we have together knowing that she is not getting any younger and soon I'll be off again, with a greater depth, breadth and experience of what it is to live and love ... 

Jillian xx

Thank you for reading. Should this article resonate with you I invite you to explore some of my resources and offerings.

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Last changed: Oct 25 2016 at 8:27 PM

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